Friday, June 15, 2007
Always a Fringe Bridesmaid, Never a Fringe Bride...
So there's this thing going one where there's going to be a mass wedding at the 13th Hour tomorrow night. And all week people have been getting engaged, and tonight things were coming to a head. It was the 13th Hour Bachelor/Bachelorette Party after all, and the hosts wanted to make sure that everyone was partnered for the big Totally Real Mass Wedding tomorrow (to be followed by the Mass Anulment on Saturday night).
Gina and I are as yet unproposed to. As in life, it would have been pretty easy to get Fringe Laid, but no one was going to make The Big Commitment, even for Pretendsies, even for ONE DAY. Sigh. I do feel a bit sorry for myself. I could have offered myself up for auction, but the previous guy who did that wound up being sold off to Crazy Super High Guy who didn't make any sense. And even if it's the Fringe, I didn't want to Pretend Marry a Loser. I still have Pretend Standards.
Others were luckier. Pete proposed to (and was accepted by) Hardcore Pussy, which we all agreed was quite a score. And Trev is more or less Fringe Engaged to one half of a Japanese Ladyboy Virus named HanaKengo. Because of the lack of translator, it's hard to tell if Hanakengo really understands, but it's pretty clear that Hanakengo is fond of Trev, and vice versa. Hey, let's face it, Hanakengo - whatever it is exactly - is a beauty.
I however have not given up hope. Tomorrow I will be on the lookout for a weiner dog I met in the beer tent, and hope to Fringe Marry him tomorrow night. I figure as long as I have bacon in my purse, I've got a date. Til Death do us part...or Sunday. Which ever comes first.
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